他故意让我怀孕,我不知道

Darnisha - posted on 01/13/2010 ( 253 澳门威廉希尔moms have responded )

七十

77

He got me pregnant without me knowing...I was not ready..I'm a 20 year old mom now and it was not my decision in the matter....He got me pregnant on purpose and i was not planning to have one this soon or look at my child's dad the rest of my life...Then he tried to force me to marry him..now he wanders why i dont talk to him anymore when i bring the 澳门williamhillbaby around which he barely sees and he lives no even 5 minutes away...then he had the nerve to tell me he was tired (ha) I asked him to keep the baby one day and an hour later he was like i have to go somewhere at 5:00p.m after he told me that he would be there all day so i told him that i wouldnt be able to make it to pick him up so i told him to take the baby with him he says"well im gonna be gone for a while and i got business to take care of nothan personal" did i not mention that his step mom was there and she runs a daycare from her home....everytime i come over there they act like they dont know how to fix a bottle he barley changes his diapers either....I felt like he is being so selfish i kno the words to say but dont know how to put them i guess....what should i do....I believe that even if we had of used protection then it would've still been so if my little Eli is here.我知道这不全是他的错。我只想让他在我的伊莱身边。

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Elizabeth - posted on 01/20/2010

11

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你知道的,我已经通读了大多数这些评论——作为一个母亲,我对这个年轻女士缺乏同情心和理解感到震惊。虽然是的,双方都有责任控制生育,but the damage is done now and Eli is here...当这个母亲最脆弱的时候,你们都痛打她是完全荒谬和错误的…you should be ashamed of yourselves.This forum is for us to SUPPORT each other in motherhood -- not point out failings of others.如果她觉得被欺骗怀孕了呢????这不是她工作的重点…她想知道我们作为一个800多万人的支持社区的感受,她应该这么做。

试着从字里行间读一读,看看这只是一个处理很多压力的新妈妈,in a situation in which she feels trapped.She needs support,同情,and caring advice...不是一堆竖琴从她喉咙里跳下来,因为她说他是故意让她怀孕的…你们中有几个人说过“她需要长大”…我认为你是需要成长的人,或者至少可以长出一根富有同情心的骨头。这位年轻的女士接触了一个社区,基本上是因为“把手伸到饼干罐里”而被打了一巴掌。Grow up ladies,we're all mothers,我知道如果达尼莎是我的女儿我会有什么感觉!Stop telling her how wrong she is for not using BC and start giving her the support she asked for...我的上帝只有一个孩子是够糟糕的没有其他人谁甚至不知道她打她的错误。

Jen-发布于2010年1月13日

四十一

82

Im sorry to possibly sound rude here.但是作为一个女人,没有人能让你怀孕,这取决于你是否安全,如果你还没有准备好的话,就不能让它发生。你一定知道避孕药,避孕套,不做爱……对不起,我只是不同情那个借口。现在,作为一个单身母亲,压力过大或过度磨蹭……这是可以理解的。But i think you need to own up to your own responsibility in the situation,you now have a child and are now a Mother,so we as Mothers have to be responsible.Its unfortunate that you can not rely on the father,但这将是他的损失。很多女人都经历过这种事,但你会没事的……保持坚强,向你自己的朋友和家人寻求帮助。You can do this without him....i raised my first child without her father and we did just fine.Becoming a mother makes us stronger than we ever knew we could be.祝你好运!

凡妮莎-发布于2010年1月13日

十七

二十

How exactly did he purposely get you pregnant?我的意思是,如果他拒绝使用保护,那么你只需说“不,谢谢”,尤其是如果你当时不想要孩子。我就是这么想的。我的意思是他还打算怎么做?????

Rosie - posted on 01/13/2010

八千六百五十七

三十

三百二十一

我是第一个单身妈妈,我知道这很难。他爸爸从来没在身边——我是说从来没有!he didn't pay child support,没有出现在亲子鉴定中,因为他想要这么坏(即使他是那个欺骗我的人,而不是相反)。我花了那么多时间感到愤怒,而且过度劳累,(and i still have some of those moments),只是一片荒芜,我错过了自己抚养孩子的那部分。这是一件大事,值得骄傲的是,而不是想当然。i've grown now,realized that i needed to break all ties that i had to that man-this year i terminated his parental rights (my son is now 9),我丈夫收养了他。i don't worry if this is the month that i'm going to get child support finally or worry if he is going to try to be a dad and confuse my son when he leaves again (cause i know he would).it feels great to know that i did it all by myself and that i don't have to worry about my ex anymore.i've learned alot from my experience,i have WAY better judgement with who i date (not anymore since i'm married,but before i met him),我知道我们可以通过任何事情,因为我们都是靠自己度过最初的岁月。只要站起来,做你最好的母亲,把垃圾放在路边!!

Heather - posted on 01/13/2010

十六

首先,你需要两个人来怀孕,而且你有一个决定,因为这两个人都有避孕措施。You first need to stop blaming him for the pregnancy.你们一起躺下,现在你们必须照顾好孩子。You are a 20-year-old woman,一个成年人,你需要开始表现得像个成年人。对,你还年轻,还没准备好,but you now have a child and need to do what is best for him/her.我建议你们两个一起讨论你们的需求,同时把孩子的最大利益放在首位。There is no excuse for him not to be involved with his child.你有没有问过他为什么不想在身边?你们两个在一起的时候打架吗?你总是把这种情况归咎于他吗?你还有其他人能帮你吗?我不是想把一切都放在你肩上,but as the primary parent to your little one you need to stick up for him/her.问他为什么没有更多的参与,没有指控。And then calmly talk to him about what your child needs.

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Michelle - posted on 01/21/2010

Unfortunately he does sound selfish.当时我丈夫对我这样做了,所以我知道背叛你的信任是什么感觉。我的儿子们很棒,尽管当时很难接受。他用这个来阻止我离开他,然后我独自照顾他,我试图再次离开他,他答应要让这件事奏效,我同意结婚后再生一个孩子。在他出生之前,his true colors still showed and I raised them on my own without his help.他也住在5分钟以外,有他们的整个生活,在街对面的托儿所,但他总是太忙,无法帮助。你有正确的想法,这是关于你和你儿子的——这是他的损失。to address Lou's comment---when you trust that ur birth control has not been tampered with and u know ur cycle and what days are not safe--to have that person violate that by intentionally causing "failure" to ur birth control--what are the "police" going to do??这违反了你的信任,就像一个男人被告知“opps”我怀孕了,当他相信节育措施被正确使用的时候。2-way street.....I never thought of that & it happened to me.

Michelle - posted on 01/21/2010

Unfortunately he does sound selfish.当时我丈夫故意让我怀孕,所以我知道背叛你的信任是什么感觉。我的儿子们很棒,尽管当时很难接受。他用这个来阻止我离开他,然后我独自照顾他,我试图再次离开他,他答应要让这件事奏效,我同意结婚后再生一个孩子。在他出生之前,his true colors still showed and I raised them on my own without his help.他也住在5分钟以外,有他们的整个生活,在街对面的托儿所,但他总是太忙,无法帮助。你有正确的想法,这是关于你和你儿子的——这是他的损失。to address Lou's comment---when you trust that ur birth control has not been tampered with and u know ur cycle and what days are not safe--to have that person violate that by intentionally causing "failure" to ur birth control--what are the "police" going to do??这违反了你的信任,就像一个男人被告知“opps”我怀孕了,当他相信节育措施被正确使用的时候。2-way street.....I never thought of that & it happened to me.

亚历克斯-发布于2010年1月20日

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十五

你不能让一个人在那里照顾他的孩子…The father of my kid is pretty much giving me lip service about wanting to be there and everything and I haven't even seen him since I was like 3 months pregnant.我现在6岁了。I can't really give advice though..you're a lil further into it then I am...我希望你一切顺利。

Jodi-发布于2010年1月20日

三千五百六十二

三十六

三千九百零七

手术几天没有恢复到这个状态,so I am going to close this thread.谢谢您,女士,for your input.

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劳拉-发布于2010年1月20日

是的,每个人都会有糟糕的判断力,但有一个孩子参与其中,她需要意识到,这不再是关于她的,而是关于孩子的。澳门williamhill

劳拉-发布于2010年1月20日

if you were not planning on having a 澳门williamhillbaby so soon why didn't you do anything to prevent it?you can't blame him only it's your fault too and maybe you should realize that..and no one except a mother will ever understand how much work it is and it's not just sitting around and doing nothing,i have 2 children and i know how hard it could be and taking care of a 3 year old and 5 month old is NOT the easiest thing ever,and although it's always good to get help you can do this on your own you or eli don't need him and in the end your son will hate him not you,do not expose your child to people who don't love him because seems to me your 澳门williamhillbaby's daddy can careless and well then eff him!你的生活中不需要愚蠢的人

凯瑟琳-发布于2010年1月20日

十五

Adoption is a hard choice,but so is trying to raise a child if you can't give them the best life possible.而且,不,你不应该试图操纵任何人(最初是他的操纵让她陷入了这个问题),但是抚养孩子是有计划的,而收养也应该和其他选择一样被考虑。(为什么人们认为堕胎和生孩子是唯一的两个选择?)澳门williamhill

她最应该做这个计划的人是孩子的父亲,澳门williamhillif he proves not interested,then she needs to make this plan with another close family member who will support her,如果她没有其他支持,也可以和DCF的顾问一起。如果她把这当作自己的育儿计划的一部分,那就不是操纵了,威廉希尔足彩appand she is going to need the father's input on some of these decisions to make whatever the choice is legal.如果她决定收养不是她要追求的,then,不,it shouldn't be on the table as a possible option.Sometimes people don't fully realize things until it is placed right in their face.(Like how hard raising a child is until they are in it.)

收养率不断上升,因为它和其他选择一样可行,它需要不断被提到,直到人们像其他选择一样接受它作为一个选择。

有时人们会错误地认为他们必须在最初几周内做出选择,但事实并非如此。做出这样的选择可能比较困难(这也是在婴儿出生前考虑的一个原因)。澳门williamhill当你9个月来一直在想你还没准备好应对这件事的时候,但有时人们甚至在事后都没有意识到自己还有选择。

As I posted on another thread to a young woman who was considering giving up her child (at 8 months),生母们放弃孩子并没有那么糟糕,不负责任的人——他们被人以同情的眼光看待,respect and awe.Sympathy because their situation and choice is hard,尊重,因为他们把孩子的需要放在第一位,把他们放在一个可以得到很好照顾的地方,and awe because they actually _do_ the hard thing.

如果说我们不如亲生父母,这对养父母(我是其中之一)是一种侮辱。只有亲生母亲才能成为更好的母亲。“但我不认为任何人能比达尼莎自己更好地成为伊莱的母亲。”

延伸,that means I am a sub-par parent to my son,只是因为我没有生他。

泰米语-发布于2010年1月20日

9

Girl it's gonna be alright,但你听起来很疯狂。别再重复了。没有人能故意让你怀孕。探戈要两个人。你应该是一个有能力照顾自己节育需求的女人。Don't depend on no man to make sure all of the bases are covered because IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!Sorry it happened to you but it seems you didn't do anything to prevent it.

香农-发布于2010年1月20日

情况显然不是一个好一个。但做妈妈的一部分是全力以赴,为宝宝做最好的事情。澳门williamhill你们俩一起躺下,所以一个也不能错。让你的团队中有你认为是一个好的支持系统的人,尽你最大的努力。不幸的是,意外怀孕的发生远不止如此。你不是一个人在一起。Lots of young ladies find themselves mothers far earlier then they had planned.Always remember it's not Eli's fault and keep is safety and well being at the top of your list.如果父亲不想打滚,你不能让他。Do you really want him around your 澳门williamhillbaby if he's not going to be a help.我祝你一切顺利,我的心也向你倾诉。I hope you have family and friends that will support you through this time.即使在最困难的日子,也要记住,这不会永远是坏事,情况好转了。

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达尼莎可能花了足够的时间和伊莱在一起,因为这会很困难,如果不是不可能的话,在感情上,她放弃了他,让他领养。There are a lot of cases where adoption is a good idea,but Darnisha has already shown from her previous posts that she loves Eli very much.I think that she might regret putting Eli up for adoption later on because once someone signs away their right as a parent,他们不能马上把那个拿回来。我不会谴责达尼莎放弃伊莱的收养权。我不完全了解她的情况,所以这可能是个好主意,但这不是我从她身上得到的感觉。

我不同意达尼莎在她的职位上所说的一切,但我不认为任何人能比达尼莎自己更好地成为伊莱的母亲。我不认为做一个完美的母亲一定会成为一个好母亲。If my parents were perfect,then I would be a completely different person than I am now.I do not think that I would want that.我的父母正是我需要的,and I think that Darnisha will be exactly what Eli needs.I do not care how many mistakes that Darnisha will make as a mother.The fact that Darnisha loves Eli should be enough.

I am not quite sure why the idea of adoption keeps coming up,但我不认为这会减轻达尼莎的压力。以后可能会有内疚或后悔,这两件事足以让人崩溃。就个人而言,I would much rather feel stressed,或是想知道我会怎么做而不是感到内疚,but this is probably a weakness of mine.也许是骄傲。

我也不同意用收养的想法来操纵父亲。I personally believe that it is a waste of time and energy to try and control the actions of others.如果她不认真的话,我绝对不喜欢玩弄收养的想法。I really do hope that the father steps up.孩子就是这样的福祉。我不相信能让他站起来。我认为这不是弱点。这将是一种力量,因为什么都不做是非常困难的,但我认为这是无私的,对后来的孩子最好。

The father will suffer the most if he decides not to step up and be a father,even if nobody blamed him.有时,尤其是当没有人责怪他或为他的行为辩护时。I do not believe in shutting the father out of Eli's life unless Darnisha see's that Eli is getting hurt emotionally,physically,或性的。如果伊莱的父亲突然出现在伊莱的生活中,那么我就知道这会在哪里伤害伊莱的情感,然后我会考虑把这件事和证据一起提交法庭,直到后来才让父亲离开伊莱的生活,但实际上只有达妮莎才能看到伤害伊莱的东西,只要她不被她对父亲的仇恨蒙蔽双眼。

这些只是意见,意见是危险的。

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Eli's dad is not going to step up and be a man.That's the way it is.我认为你在为你认为伊莱应该得到的父亲而悲伤。That's entirely understandable!它

期望一个20岁的孩子独自抚养太多了,澳门williamhill和支持他们两人,and have the time and energy a 澳门williamhillbaby needs.孩子们太棒了,还有很多责任。It would not be "giving up" to place Eli for adoption.Adoption is the most beautiful and loving thing you could do for your son.你会是一对夫妇祈祷的答案。There are lots of agencies that can help.其中之一是www.itsaboutlove.org

Carol - posted on 01/20/2010

十八

忘了他吧。Plus,如果他故意让你怀孕而你不想怀孕,这没有道理。你们都在船上。He didn't hold a gun to your head and force unprotected sex,如果那样的话,你会报警的。婚姻中的性生活会给你带来很多悲伤和心痛,我知道。我会忘记他的。他不负责任,他对你和孩子都不尊重。澳门williamhillHe is overwhelmed with the fact he has to be playing a role in the child's life.The back and forth business is not healthy for the child.孩子会感到前后摇晃。Sorry but you need stability and so does this child.我很抱歉听起来很粗鲁,但你的处境和其他人一样,and yes there is a way.我会让他做一个育儿计划,然后完成它,看看它从那里威廉希尔足彩app去了哪里!

凯瑟琳-发布于2010年1月20日

十五

好,在229个岗位中,我希望你看到那些关于领养的。如果你决定走这条路(即使不是),你需要和伊莱的父亲进行一次成人对话,because if you decide to go the adoption route,he will have to sign away his parental rights.你也会的。但是——(这才是真正重要的),谈话可能会让他震惊地成为一名父亲。

他可能在想,只要他把你绑在一起,他不必做任何实际的事情,因为你将跳过所有的圈套来保持你儿子和他之间的关系。

Don't fall for that.Talk to the court about child support,and talk to them,或DCF或DHS关于您的所有选项(包括采用)。When you lay these choices in front of the father,他看到你很认真地挑选其中一个,他可能突然意识到他会失去什么。

如果他不——那就把他从你的生活中除掉,因为他不会改变,你孩子的未来也太重要了。Think seriously about whether or not you can handle this on your own,因为伊莱现在的生活是最重要的。

Jessica - posted on 01/20/2010

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9

没有他生活听起来对你们俩都会更好。你的孩子不需要正在上演的戏剧。他付孩子抚养费吗?如果他不想生孩子,澳门williamhill我不会强迫这个问题。let him walk away.你得到了宝贵的生命作为回报。我的前夫不在我们附近,这对我儿子来说是最好的。他一生都在努力,我知道如果他(父亲)在身边,他就不会这样了。

Laila-发布于2010年1月20日

19

五十八

我亲爱的,探戈需要两个人。I'm sorry he's a dead beat...but unless he raped you,then it's both of your faults that there is now an innocent child involved.Use protection next time.

Maryann-发布于2010年1月20日

十三

你可以就“他让我怀孕”争论一整天——我想她现在知道“两个人跳探戈”了,他们对伊莱负有同样的责任。NOW..继续前进…You cannot force Eli's dad to be in the pictue..当然,you can go after him for child support,但这会让他成为伊莱的爸爸吗?不。。继续…抚养你漂亮的孩子,澳门williamhill爱他,让他安全,be the best mom you can be.I know it's stressful..i've been there..有过一段感情,生了孩子,澳门williamhill独自抚养孩子……澳门williamhill我必须学会让愤怒消失,因为如果我没有,我就会充满仇恨……and hate isn't good when you're rasing a child.You will get through it..我的孩澳门williamhill子快18岁了……and well adjusted..

Maryann-发布于2010年1月20日

十三

你可以就“他让我怀孕”争论一整天——我想她现在知道“两个人跳探戈”了,他们对伊莱负有同样的责任。NOW..继续前进…You cannot force Eli's dad to be in the pictue..当然,you can go after him for child support,但这会让他成为伊莱的爸爸吗?不。。继续…抚养你漂亮的孩子,澳门williamhill爱他,让他安全,be the best mom you can be.I know it's stressful..i've been there..有过一段感情,生了孩子,澳门williamhill独自抚养孩子……澳门williamhill我必须学会让愤怒消失,因为如果我没有,我就会充满仇恨……and hate isn't good when you're rasing a child.You will get through it..我的孩澳门williamhill子快18岁了……and well adjusted..

Maryann-发布于2010年1月20日

十三

你可以就“他让我怀孕”争论一整天——我想她现在知道“两个人跳探戈”了,他们对伊莱负有同样的责任。NOW..继续前进…You cannot force Eli's dad to be in the pictue..当然,you can go after him for child support,但这会让他成为伊莱的爸爸吗?不。。继续…抚养你漂亮的孩子,澳门williamhill爱他,让他安全,be the best mom you can be.I know it's stressful..i've been there..有过一段感情,生了孩子,澳门williamhill独自抚养孩子……澳门williamhill我必须学会让愤怒消失,因为如果我没有,我就会充满仇恨……and hate isn't good when you're rasing a child.You will get through it..我的孩澳门williamhill子快18岁了……and well adjusted..

Maryann-发布于2010年1月20日

十三

你可以为“他故意让我怀孕”争论一整天——我想她现在知道“两个人跳探戈”了,他们对伊莱负有同样的责任。NOW..继续前进…You cannot force Eli's dad to be in the pictue..当然,you can go after him for child support,但这会让他成为伊莱的爸爸吗?不。。继续…抚养你漂亮的孩子,澳门williamhill爱他,让他安全,be the best mom you can be.I know it's stressful..i've been there..有过一段感情,生了孩子,澳门williamhill独自抚养孩子……澳门williamhill我必须学会让愤怒消失,因为如果我没有,我就会充满仇恨……and hate isn't good when you're rasing a child.You will get through it..我的孩澳门williamhill子快18岁了……and well adjusted..

丽贝卡-发布于2010年1月20日

对不起匈奴,but how did he get u pregnant without u knowing.....unprotected sex = a 澳门williamhillbaby.U are lucky that it was a pregnancy,不是HIV或类似病毒。A对他没有帮助等,如果你爱你的男人,and want the best for him,让他离开,如果父亲坚持要在那之后见他,then make some rules,通过法庭,让他有机会。我能看出这有多烦人,my oldests father didnt want anything to do with him either,但是你的孩子先澳门williamhill来了……别怪他了,生孩子需要两个人,澳门williamhill好好享受你的孩子。

Amanda - posted on 01/20/2010

i'd just keep the 澳门williamhillbaby away from him cuz in the long run the only one thats gonna get hurt is the child.im talking from experience.我儿子的父亲来来往往,我让他在监狱里呆了很多年。现在我儿子12岁了,他爸爸想见他,但我儿子不想见他,但即使他想见,我也不会让他去,因为从长远来看他会受伤的。so i would keep the 澳门williamhillbaby away from him its not worth the hassel or the stress cuz if your stressed out the baby can feel it

Brianna-发布于2010年1月20日

14

听,如果我坦白的话,是时候停止指责你的前女友,接受现实的情况了。I'm sorry to say that I disagree with your notion that he intentionally got you pregnant.因为在一天结束的时候,unless he sexually assualted you that is an impossible action.我认为,你一直在提醒自己你儿子是如何怀孕的,这一事实使你的情况变得更糟。底线是,即使你还没有准备好要成为一个母亲,你现在是一个,我知道你爱你的儿子到死。You need to accept responsibility that both you and the father played to conceive your son even if he isn't a stellar dad.现在由你来照顾你的儿子(甚至是你自己的儿子),不管父亲和父亲家人的行为如何。我的前夫和他的家人也不在我女儿的生活中,但你猜我能谦虚地说我是一个伟大的母亲,尽我所能用我所拥有的。所以我告诉你从一个单身母亲到另一个单身母亲,keep doing the best you can for your son and try your best to not let your ex upset you because of his (or his family) trifling behavior.You're a young woman with your entire life ahead of you and I promise God will place His chosen son in you and your son's life that will take over as daddy.祝你好运。

杰西-发布于2010年1月20日

三百三十三

三十六

First of all I am glad you are taking responsibility for your little Eli,即使你还没准备好。That takes a lot of guts to not take the easy way out.As for the father I would say that even though he wanted you to get pregnant he expects you to do all the work and doesn't seem like he wants to take responsibility.不幸的是,你不能强迫别人承担责任,在他决定成为一个真正的父亲之前,你应该调查一下。不要让你珍贵的伊莱和他在一起。我讨厌那个可爱的小男孩,因为他是一个不成熟的父母。不过这只是我的意见,你可以自己决定如何处理。However,我注意到你从来没有回答过他是如何让你怀孕的这个问题,你不知道吗?你认为他在使用保护措施吗?????I'm just curious no accusations here just simple curiousity.

Ruschelle-发布于2010年1月20日

十二

恐怕有很多这样的父母,men and women.我的建议是。当你最需要的时候,不要指望他会帮助你。如果可能的话,一定要有后备计划。我自己20岁就有了第一个孩子。我一直和他爸爸吵架,想和他儿子在一起。有一天我很生气,我刚开始面对现实,意识到他是那个失踪的人,不是我!That was my attitude.When he turned down watching his son coz' he has to go to the gym,我刚才说了好吧!没问题。我猜他就是在那时开始思考的。她在做什么?!Why is she not giving me a hard time,接下来我知道,here he comes wanting to spend time with our son.Even if he would take a nap while our son was there and his mom ends up watching him.我不高兴他没有和他一起度过美好的时光,但我需要帮助,所以我闭上了嘴。也许你可以和同样情况的朋友一起开始日托。他们可以照看你的儿子,你也可以照看他们的儿子。只是一个想法!在你想的同样的情况下,有更多的父母在那里。They could be your neighbors.祝你好运!

Steffi-发布于2010年1月20日

十八

二十九

My sister is going through the same things,但她的儿子是3岁和5岁,所以他们想和他们的父亲建立关系,并继续受到伤害。现在,尽管他是个无精打采的父亲,他让她再次出庭,尽他所能摧毁她,少给孩子支持,all under the pretense that she's a bad mom and he wants to be involved in the kids' lives...but he doesn't go to parent teacher conferences,doesn't go to wrestling meets,doesn't spend time with them at all.有些人只是失败者,period,在他们的生活中没有上帝,它们永远不会是别的东西。也许是时候正视他是个失败者的事实了,让他从你的生活中走出来,period.如果他对这个孩子不太感兴趣,他可能会很高兴不用付孩子抚养费和保姆费。澳门williamhill我说现在打个结,这样孩子就不会受伤,也不会知道他错过了什么。Sure,他会想,为什么他爸爸不在身边,你可以在适当的时候解释一下。这肯定会减轻他父亲在余生中假装父亲并吸吮父亲的痛苦。Plus,孩子只有在完全理解你之后才会更加爱你,更加尊重你,因为他如此爱你,如此保护你。也许当他长大了,爸爸成熟了一点,你可以一次尝试一点关系,on your terms and on the kid's terms.

Cynthia - posted on 01/20/2010

Pull out method doesnt work,hun.你的故事听起来像我的。他担心我会离开,于是决定设圈套陷害我。我告诉他在我和他结婚前地狱里会很冷,and I broke things off when I was seven months pregnant.他不会帮助她,有一次他意识到我从来没有打算和他回去。我得到他的支持。I would let him have her every once in awhile,but the last time he sent her back with a shitty diaper,她腿上都起了皮疹。She couldn't even sit!他再也不会得到她了。他不想进入她的生活,til he had to pay for it,现在我已经决定了,在她自己决定之前,他不会在她的生活中。

Krista - posted on 01/20/2010

4,111

五十二

二百六十五

Lol@someone saying a man can get them virtually not pulling on time.某人说,男人可以通过“故意不按时出门”来让他们怀孕。说真的!?SERIOUSLY????你真的想说,如果她因为伴侣没有按时退出而怀孕,那不是女人的错吗?



“拔出”法何时成为一种已知的避孕药?You DO realize that you can get pregnant BEFORE the man ejaculates,right?



Grow up.不要告诉人们,逃避责任是完全可以接受的,因为他“没有按时退出”。

Krista - posted on 01/20/2010

4,111

五十二

二百六十五

Lol@someone saying a man can get them virtually not pulling on time.某人说,男人可以通过“故意不按时出门”来让他们怀孕。说真的!?SERIOUSLY????你真的想说,如果她因为伴侣没有按时退出而怀孕,那不是女人的错吗?



“拔出”法何时成为一种已知的避孕药?You DO realize that you can get pregnant BEFORE the man ejaculates,right?



Grow up.不要告诉人们,逃避责任是完全可以接受的,因为他“没有按时退出”。

Krista - posted on 01/20/2010

4,111

五十二

二百六十五

Lol@someone saying a man can get them virtually not pulling on time.某人说,男人可以通过“故意不按时出门”来让他们怀孕。说真的!?SERIOUSLY????你真的想说,如果她因为伴侣没有按时退出而怀孕,那不是女人的错吗?



“拔出”法何时成为一种已知的避孕药?You DO realize that you can get pregnant BEFORE the man ejaculates,right?



Grow up.不要告诉人们,逃避责任是完全可以接受的,因为他“没有按时退出”。

劳拉-发布于2010年1月20日

There is one more thing that should happen to you that you do not have a choice on either.....it is time for you to grow up......babies don't ask to be born,它们是制造出来的,by you.If his father is a lousy father then be the best Mom you can be.你欠伊莱的!

Lakeish-发布于2010年1月20日

首先,停止他故意让你怀孕的胡说八道。如果你知道你还没准备好,你就错了。You need to stop blaming and being more responsible.Stop taking your child by him if they don't know what they are doing.你需要和他认真谈谈你对孩子的关心,if he is talking "bullshit" take his ass for CHILD SUPPORT.我相信他会停止比赛和花招的。祝你好运,坚强。你会意识到你的孩子是上帝赐予他的祝福,所以,为他/她尽你所能,要坚强。

收听-发布于2010年1月20日

I know how you feel.儿童支持文件,get financial support from the govt,至少食品券,if not AFDC,钱。

把他能做的事写下来把它给他。Then don't make contact with him.如果你不能站在他身边,你的孩子可能不应该在他身边。

当你专注于你想要创造的生活时,你会更快乐,and just let him go,认识到你比他做得更好。Even though you have mre work to do right now.The rewards for you are amazing,他将被冷落和孤独。

我有一个10岁的女儿,I have been a single mom for 5-8 years,we were together off and on for years.我试着让它工作,意识到他并不真正关心我们,我们自己会过得更好。得到孩子的支持使我们的生活发生了变化。

祝你好运

Love Yourself

把注意力集中在这一点上,你的孩子就在这一点上!澳门williamhill

and Happiness will come to you

Lisa-发布于2010年1月20日

二十四

Sorry to tell you but you can force a guy to be a father.另外,如果他不换尿布或者不把奶瓶弄好,你为什么要把孩子留在他身边很长一段时间呢?澳门williamhill我独自抚养孩子,然后遇到了一个男人,他成为了我两个孩子的好父亲。是的,一个婴澳门williamhill儿可能会很累,但这只是同时做母亲和父亲的一部分。享受这些日子,因为有一天你会醒来,你的孩子将是一个年轻的成年人,独自走向生活。澳门williamhill我很享受做母亲的每一秒,除了工作之外,我从来没有发现自己不能带孩子们一起去。当然,工作是我在补助金的帮助下让他们在日托所做的。如果我想出去过夜,让我失去我离开后,我的孩子们在床上,让保姆真的需要在那里,以防他们醒来。澳门williamhill就男人而言,他们要么是一个好父亲,要么是一个死气沉沉的人,两者之间似乎没有任何差别。Your ex sounds like a dead beat so why force him into a situation he does not want to be in.这只会给你带来涉及儿童援助的问题。You have done all you can do you can force anyone to be a parent.

Siobhan-发布于2010年1月20日

十七

23

嗨,Darnisha,

只是想给你一句话,因为这里的一些帖子可能会让你在感情脆弱的时候觉得有点刺耳。



你儿子很漂亮,你应该为此感到骄傲,你已经走了这么远,而且你仍然很坚强,但是,如果你总是花时间和精力在孩子爸爸做或不做的事情上,你会衣冠楚楚。澳门williamhillYou have'nt said if your family and friends are being supportive......i hope they are.我在21岁的时候生了一个没澳门williamhill有计划的孩子,并且嫁给了那个死去的父亲,我可以告诉你,你已经在你的人生舞台上大步前进了。My advice to you is to plan your life and childcare arrangement like you are never gonna see the 澳门williamhillbaby daddy again.如果你有一群人,你可以求助于你信任的人,并且相信他们可以照顾你的孩子,那么你就可以规划你的生活,从你现在的位置朝着积极的方向前进。



Becoming a mother is a truly life changing experience and for some of us it does'nt always start out rosey like the 澳门williamhillbaby product adverts.但是相信我,and be strong,你的孩子会给你遗嘱,passion and drive to do amazing things.for now,我们都是为你而来的女孩

Bianca - posted on 01/20/2010

ok your twenty so what.你决定做爱。你知道发生性行为的原因是生殖吗?well suck it up you got pregnant.你没有堕胎,你选择留下孩子。澳门williamhill不要指望精子捐赠者承认自己的基因贡献。最终,当孩子被训练成便盆并且非常自力更生的时候,他会想要这个孩子。the more you push the kid on him the larger the change that he will get joint custody.那么可怜的小伊利会和你在一起一个星期,和他在一起一个星期等等。不要成为单身时依赖男人的女人之一。长大,成为你儿子的榜样。



注:我是一个22岁的母亲,有两个孩子,他们都支持自己,她的两个孩子和现任配偶。

Luz-发布于2010年1月20日

我认为妈妈圈应该是我们互相支持,互相提供澳门威廉希尔建议的地方。她就如何对待父亲征求意见。事情发生了,很多男人和女人都同意进行无保护的性行为,但是说“是的,我是“节育”或“不,我不会在你的内心深处结束,”而那些人的意图恰恰相反。它发生了。Danisha,keep your head up and if he doesn't want to see the child,then don't bother with him.你的孩子永远都知道你爱她,并且独自了解他/她父亲的真相。做个好妈妈!

Siobhan-发布于2010年1月20日

十七

23

嗨,Darnisha,

只是想给你一句话,因为这里的一些帖子可能会让你在感情脆弱的时候觉得有点刺耳。



你儿子很漂亮,你应该为此感到骄傲,你已经走了这么远,而且你仍然很坚强,但是,如果你总是花时间和精力在孩子爸爸做或不做的事情上,你会衣冠楚楚。澳门williamhillYou have'nt said if your family and friends are being supportive......i hope they are.我在21岁的时候生了一个没澳门williamhill有计划的孩子,并且嫁给了那个死去的父亲,我可以告诉你,你已经在你的人生舞台上大步前进了。My advice to you is to plan your life and childcare arrangement like you are never gonna see the 澳门williamhillbaby daddy again.如果你有一群人,你可以求助于你信任的人,并且相信他们可以照顾你的孩子,那么你就可以规划你的生活,从你现在的位置朝着积极的方向前进。



Becoming a mother is a truly life changing experience and for some of us it does'nt always start out rosey like the 澳门williamhillbaby product adverts.但是相信我,and be strong,你的孩子会给你遗嘱,passion and drive to do amazing things.for now,我们都是为你而来的女孩

贝丝-发布于2010年1月20日

IS ANYBODY REEEAAALLY READING WHAT SHE IS SAYING??



**来自丹妮莎最初的帖子:“他故意让我怀孕,我不打算这么快就生一个孩子,也不打算在我的余生里看着我孩子的爸爸。”



WHAT THE ****?如果她有这种感觉,她为什么要和他睡?搞砸了。



**摘自Darnisha'Jan.13 12:25pm的帖子:“我明白他生孩子的责任并不全在他,但问题是他想和我生个孩子,这不是我想要的……我只是想他会对我有足够的尊重,告诉我他想要一个孩子澳门williamhill……这不是意外,因为他向我父母吹嘘他尝试了我这么做。准备好了,但我爱我的小伊莱,我的意思是我们甚至没有在一起那么久……我只是觉得他为我做这个决定是不对的,然后试图强迫我嫁给他,说当孩子来的时候,我将不得不和我的男朋友分手,违背我的意愿嫁给他,这是不对的……我的意思是他甚至不知道我们有了一个男孩,直到他出生后,他在失踪7个月后突然叫醒我的前男友,为我和我的孩子做了一切。”



#1)向父母吹牛?她必须知道这就是他想要的,#2) AT SOME POINT,如果他想娶她,他一定是有某种意图的,#3) DID SHE NOT SAY SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND THAT HE WOULD MAKE HER BREAK UP WITH?她为什么和“爸爸”睡在一起?,#4) IS HE GOING TO WANT TO HAVE RESPECT FOR HER,IF SHE DOESN'T HAVE RESPECT FOR HERSELF?



我在想这个故事比我们得到的要多。最重要的是伊莱是个漂亮的孩子!!!!澳门williamhill这才是最重要的。He is not to blame as many have said.达尼莎需要为伊莱做最好的事。He deserves that!!如果这意味着需要孩子的支持,不管她要不想要,she should do it.如果可以像从芜菁中采血一样,但至少她知道她在为他做她所能做的一切,她会心平气和的。保护他不受压力和戏剧的影响是当务之急。这对他们都有好处。有些机构可以帮助她做日托,而不是依靠他或他妈妈,as that does not sound like a safe,健康的环境。They could also direct her to some support groups.She said that she didn't want a 澳门williamhillbaby,but now that she's got him,我相信她确实爱他。

[已删除帐户]

真的,回答太多了!I really hope most of them are helpful to you mama.我不能花时间把它们全部读完,so if this has been said,I'm sorry!

听起来像你现在的男朋友(?)是一个负责任的人。He was taking care of you & ANOTHER man's 澳门williamhillbaby!我想他是守门员。有个爸爸妈妈真好。If things are working out for you 2,sometime in the near future,marry him!他可以收养伊莱,&你们可以是一家人。“父亲”永远不会有任何权利!我还建议为你提供咨询服务,帮助你解决所有这些问题并做出正确的决定。赋予自己力量!!Good luck & may God keep you both ♥

Sally - posted on 01/20/2010

二十二

Whoa Sister.....You're disillusioned!!!你需要继续前进,照顾好第一个,the Lil One,then You!!离开乐队~“哦,我有祸了“~吸一口吧……我们都在管理自己……你现在需要长大,you're a Mama now.....Sounds like UR M & D are there,利用你的资源!

Tamera-发布于2010年1月20日

14

二十

嗨,Darnisha,

我叫塔米拉,今年19岁。我被迫发生性行为,并向警方报告他们什么也没做。所以其他人告诉你,如果他那样做了,你应该告诉警察,那什么都不做。I'm not with him anymore and he has told me that my son was nothing but a mistake.我是个单身妈妈,我不会用我儿子交换任何东西或任何人。我非常喜欢你,直到我长大后才计划要孩子,和一个真正爱我的人保持良好的关系,and when we were finanialy ready.然而,由于一个男人的选择,我现在有了一个让我从可怕的关系中解脱出来的神奇的儿子。他见不到我儿子,每次我们谈话,他都告诉我我是个可怕的人/妈妈,他会把我儿子从我身边带走。我是那个从我怀孕后就一直照顾他的人,他是那个选择药物和酒精的人,another girl and her kid over us and yet he wants to say I'm unfit.我唯一能给你的建议就是做对你和你的孩子最好的事情。作为妈妈,这就是我们真正能做的。我希望这对你有帮助。

梅琳达-发布于2010年1月20日

27

我不想直言不讳,but,你可以取代他,找到一个知道如何表现得像个真正的男人,知道如何尊重你和你的孩子的男人。澳门williamhill

Melissa-发布于2010年1月20日

二百六十一

十五

哇,这确实是一个艰难的局面。Your son deserves a father but if he is going to be a dead beat dad then your son is better off without.I mean if he acts like he cant make a bottle or change his diapers properly then i dont think your son should be there,如果他没有得到适当的照顾。让你的儿子远离这种情况,也许父亲会意识到他的儿子有多重要。现在我想你得扮演爸爸妈妈了。Just a question though,you said he wanted to get married how come you didn't want to marry him,你不爱他吗?如果不是,那你为什么要和他睡觉。(请不要冒犯我的问题,i dont mean it that way at all.我只是想了解情况。)祝你和你儿子好运。

斯蒂芬妮-发布于2010年1月20日

78

50

十六

Contact family court and tell them that their is a dead beat dad and you want to persue him for child support.如果你想表现得文雅一点,听上去你有,leagal action may be the best course of action,你可能从他那里得不到任何东西,但如果他工作,法院可以扣押他的工资,取决于你住的地方,they can take over 50% of his income.



如果你不想嫁给他,那就不要了。把问题强加给你,他表明这是故意的,他对你没有真正的关心和尊重;a man won't do that,a boy who hasn't figured out life will.



听起来很糟糕,如果你说“不”,他仍然和你做爱,结果你的小伊莱,在你所在的州,这可能属于“强奸”法;我不是说为了这个去追他,我只是把信息放在外面。



I was your age when I had my first son,9年后,我希望能更聪明一点,I will tell you that marrying someone because you have a 澳门williamhillbaby with them is not always the wisest route,因为责任我嫁给了我的前夫,I did not love him,但我每天都看着我9岁的漂亮女儿,我不知道没有他我会怎样生活。



我希望你和小伊莱一切顺利。你可以随时联系你崇拜的地方,和别人谈论你的处境,看看他们是否能帮助你,或者至少能指导你。

Melissa-发布于2010年1月20日

二百六十一

十五

哇,这确实是一个艰难的局面。Your son deserves a father but if he is going to be a dead beat dad then your son is better off without.I mean if he acts like he cant make a bottle or change his diapers properly then i dont think your son should be there,如果他没有得到适当的照顾。让你的儿子远离这种情况,也许父亲会意识到他的儿子有多重要。现在我想你得扮演爸爸妈妈了。Just a question though,you said he wanted to get married how come you didn't want to marry him,你不爱他吗?如果不是,那你为什么要和他睡觉。(请不要冒犯我的问题,i dont mean it that way at all.我只是想了解情况。)祝你和你儿子好运。

Carol - posted on 01/20/2010

Well Sister you have a couple of things that you need to understand.1) You need to set up your world without expecting any physical assistance from the sperm donor of your child or his family.2)您的孩子值得关爱,NEVER allow anyone to take care of your child that you would not have care for you if you were bedridden with no ability to ask for what you needed.如果您的孩子3岁或4岁以下,then the child does not have the ability to speak for themselves.3)如果你想要金钱支持,你需要聘请一名律师起诉X寻求支持。4) Preserve your rights immediately.如果X现在不负责任,以后还会伤害你,他可能会为了伤害你而寻求监护权。现在请一名律师提交监护文书,seek full custody with child support,或者寻求终止他父母的权利,这样你就可以把他从你的生活中完全割除,继续前进。5)我读过一些人说你做爱了,你知道风险。大多数妈妈澳门威廉希尔很少同情那些怀孕的人,因为她们相信自己的伴侣会负责节育。你现在是一个有孩子的成年人了。You are responsible for the choices you make not only for you but also for your child.If you waste time worrying over the past,你现在错过了多少好东西。Let the old go,让你的生活井然有序,继续前进。

Tinielle - posted on 01/20/2010

二十四

i would also liek to add that each and everyone of you judgment "澳门威廉希尔moms" on here..how good of an example are you setting for you children right now?在每个人的生活中都会发生意外和糟糕的判断力……我当然希望你不要像对待这个可怜的女士那样去评判和照顾自己的孩子。她正在向成熟的父母寻求帮助,on her sad situation..and all you can do is make it worse for her??这让你做了什么?not very mature,或者对其他人保持警惕……这是肯定的……你们中的一些人应该感到羞耻。

~小小姐-发布于2010年1月20日

二万一千二百七十三

9

3058

你听起来像一个咆哮的少年,而不是一个20岁的母亲。首先,他没有如你所说的“故意让我怀孕”。One of your last statements was "even if we had used protection".如果你们都不使用保护措施,他是怎么故意让你们怀孕的?Did you not know that if you had unprotected sex that was a possibility?如果不是,然后你接受了相当多的性教育。我给你的建议是长大,通过司法系统处理他。It is his child,至少让他付出代价。现在你需要决定你想成为什么样的母亲,因为自己的错误和缺点而责备别人的人,or a mother who sets an excellent example for there 澳门williamhillbaby.You can teach your child how to survive a difficult situation.幸运的是……但承认……你们两个是故意怀孕的。但请不要因为两个处于激情中的不成熟的人的行为而责怪无力自卫的孩子。

Tinielle - posted on 01/20/2010

二十四

简单明了……忘记失败者,在他还是婴儿的时候照顾好你,澳门williamhill时间过得太快了!sooner then you know you

会带他去上学的第一天……很多妈妈自己动手,抚养好孩子!澳门威廉希尔honestly you little sweetie is better of with out him!你想让他长大,像他父亲一样吗?不体贴的,自私?不,你要他有礼貌!把他按你希望的方式养大……而且他爸爸长大了,很有可能向他展示一个真正的男人是什么样的!祝你好运,恭喜你的幸福之旅……这是最棒的礼物,这是一个孩子给你的礼物,他将无条件地爱你一辈子,专注于把无条件的爱还给他,一切都会以应有的方式解决!

Candyce - posted on 01/20/2010

二百六十五

十六

11

亲爱的,no one can get you pregnant on purpose without your consent.事实上,让一个人在不完全了解自己的周期的情况下怀孕,并且不知何故让他们在不受保护的情况下怀孕,这是非常困难的。If you mean he kept asking you to have his 澳门williamhillbaby and whatnot,那就不想和你分手,但几乎所有的人都会在某个时刻这样做。我19岁的时候也是这样,但他父亲从未见过他。If you want him to support your child financially (because I know it's hard),像现在这样的儿童支持文件。如果你想让他对他的孩子感兴趣,澳门williamhill祝你好运。You can't force someone to be a man or to look out for his seed.

Blessed Be

Michelle - posted on 01/21/2010

Unfortunately he does sound selfish.当时我丈夫故意让我怀孕,所以我知道背叛你的信任是什么感觉。我的儿子们很棒,尽管当时很难接受。他用这个来阻止我离开他,然后我独自照顾他,我试图再次离开他,他答应要让这件事奏效,我同意结婚后再生一个孩子。在他出生之前,his true colors still showed and I raised them on my own without his help.他也住在5分钟以外,有他们的整个生活,在街对面的托儿所,但他总是太忙,无法帮助。你有正确的想法,这是关于你和你儿子的——这是他的损失。to address Lou's comment---when you trust that ur birth control has not been tampered with and u know ur cycle and what days are not safe--to have that person violate that by intentionally causing "failure" to ur birth control--what are the "police" going to do??这违反了你的信任,就像一个男人被告知“opps”我怀孕了,当他相信节育措施被正确使用的时候。2-way street.....I never thought of that & it happened to me.

Carol - posted on 01/20/2010

十八

忘了他吧。Plus,如果他故意让你怀孕而你不想怀孕,这没有道理。你们都在船上。He didn't hold a gun to your head and force unprotected sex,如果那样的话,你会报警的。婚姻中的性生活会给你带来很多悲伤和心痛,我知道。我会忘记他的。他不负责任,他对你和孩子都不尊重。澳门williamhillHe is overwhelmed with the fact he has to be playing a role in the child's life.The back and forth business is not healthy for the child.孩子会感到前后摇晃。Sorry but you need stability and so does this child.我很抱歉听起来很粗鲁,但你的处境和其他人一样,and yes there is a way.我会让他做一个育儿计划,然后完成它,看看它从那里威廉希尔足彩app去了哪里!

Maryann-发布于2010年1月20日

十三

你可以为“他故意让我怀孕”争论一整天——我想她现在知道“两个人跳探戈”了,他们对伊莱负有同样的责任。NOW..继续前进…You cannot force Eli's dad to be in the pictue..当然,you can go after him for child support,但这会让他成为伊莱的爸爸吗?不。。继续…抚养你漂亮的孩子,澳门williamhill爱他,让他安全,be the best mom you can be.I know it's stressful..i've been there..有过一段感情,生了孩子,澳门williamhill独自抚养孩子……澳门williamhill我必须学会让愤怒消失,因为如果我没有,我就会充满仇恨……and hate isn't good when you're rasing a child.You will get through it..我的孩澳门williamhill子快18岁了……and well adjusted..

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